Dear Americans:

I’m sorry I was elected President by blaming George Bush’s policies for our nations woes. I’m sorry I continued almost all of George Policies after I was elected. I’m sorry my world apology tour at the beginning of my presidency didn’t help. I’m sorry I blamed George Bush for the oil platform disaster in the gulf. I’m sorry I shut down all drilling in the gulf and cost thousands of jobs. I’m sorry I blamed the cops for acting “Stupidly.” I’m sorry I bailed out my chosen few companies with your tax dollars. I’m sorry I bailed out banks and gave stimulus money to my biggest supporters. I’m sorry that when I had the entire congress to do my bidding I wasted the opportunity by passing Obamacare which will be repealed. I’m sorry that I didn’t listen when economists told me we need to get serious about our debt and I ignored the Simpson Bowles commissions recommendations.

I’m sorry that I have not supported our allies in the world. I’m sorry I have allowed the unfettered access through our southern border by the illegal invaders. I’m sorry I sued the state of AZ for trying to protect its citizens. I’m sorry that my attorney general allowed guns to “Walk” into Mexico. I’m sorry I flew over NY in AF-1 to take pictures for my christmas cards. I’m sorry about appointing Sotomeyor and Keagan to the SCOTUS.

I’m sorry I’m supporting the baby killing machine known as planned parenthood. I’m sorry I couldn’t get the olympics to come to Chicago. I’m sorry the economy is still in the dumps. I’m sorry my economic policies have destroyed America’s standing in the world and have caused more people to be on Government assistance than anytime since the great depression. I’m sorry my wife flies all over the globe on vacations while the nation can’t afford to drive two blocks for a happy meal.

I’m sorry I killed the XL pipeline that would have supported THOUSANDS of jobs and helped to move us away from Middle East Oil. I’m sorry my fellow democrats follow me like lemmings. I’m sorry I blamed George Bush for everything I take credit for now. I’m sorry gas prices are heading up even though I said they would. I’m sorry for playing the race card so much. I’m sorry for supporting OWS. I’m sorry that I allowed the “new” ROE’s in Afghanistan. I’m sorry for giving your money to unions, I’m sorry for Solyndra. I’m sorry I supported the “Arab Spring” which is going to come back and bite us in the butt soon. I’m sorry for all these and more.

The last Apology I’ll make is to those supporters of ME who I’ve let down. What did you expect? I never had a job before… sorry.

-Barack Hussein Obama.