I would be willing to bet EVERY state in the union has some people getting workmans compensation for being stupid.

Workers’ Compensation

This is a bricklayer’s accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers’ Compensation Board…

Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put ‘poor planning’ as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level I went up onto the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain and unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey
back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.
Kind Regards,
Mike Pashby

Now in case you missed this.. it is humor..I am not sure if it is true and I really don’t care, it’s funny.

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I truly hope those that have been offended by my rants will use this form to communicate their feelings. I have been very harsh lately to the faggots and lezbians, as well as the libtard fucknozles and rag heads, not to mention the Socialist Brother occupying the White House in january…Sorry for your hurt feeling in advance….

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I am going to preface this by saying it is in poor taste, it is funny as all get out, but VERY Poor taste:

There is NO foul language, nor is there any graphic images, it is totally safe for work but its in POOR Taste given the current climate of our Nation…

If you can’t laugh a little at EVERYONE you need to take a break from Politics and get a life.

Mall Shooting casts doubt on election of key battleground state.

And for the inevitable libtard that will come by and say “Oh yeah laugh at shooting victims”

THIS IS FAKE, it is a spoof of the election campaigns that do anything to count votes a head of time.. Get over it, and vote for your messiah Barack Hussien Obama…

Speaking of Obama, Here’s another one I really liked:

Obama: “KEEP OUR SHITTY JOBS FROM GOING OVER SEAS!!

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UPDATE: I had to remove the NBC version due to problems with the embed code, this version is missing the part with Soros in it… Sorry.

They took the original one down due to NBC’s concerns about a banner that ran under it saying something about shooting someone… I suppose it’s possible, I am of the opinion that Mr Soros (The man with his hand under the MSM’s skirt)  can’t take a joke. Anyway I loved this skit, after all the “LEFT” leaning skits Americans have to see, it is high time the truth comes out..

Thank You SNL.

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Now if you don’t laugh at this you are dead already.

Snatched from Jenn at Screw Liberals

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The movie is coming out soon I can’t wait!

Jenn of the Jungle Turned me on to this

I hear some theaters are not going to show the film, I would venture to say MOST of those will be in San Francisco, Palm Springs and West Hollywood. But that’s just a guess.

I loved this trailer:

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The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsman like way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election.

Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner.
After much back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota.

There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties. At the end of the first day, John Mc. returned to the starting line and he had ten fish.

Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having another ‘bad hair’ day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day John Mc. came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none. That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said, ‘Obama, I think John Mc. is a low-life, cheatin’ son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don’t even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.’

The next night. after John Mc. returns with 50 fish, Harry Reid said to Obama, ‘Well, tell me, how is John Mc. cheating?’

Obama replied, ‘Harry, you’re not going to believe this, but he’s cutting holes in the ice’.

Experience DOES Count!

Sent to me by Southern Sass.

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LOS ANGELES MATH TEST

City of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency Exam

Name:_____________________

Gang:_____________________

1. Duane has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by shooting, how many drive by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload? __________

2. If Joe has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8 ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn’t cut it? __________

3. Rufus is pimping for 3 girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit? __________

4. Jerome wants to cut his 1/2 pound of Heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need? __________

5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy and $100 for a 4×4. If he has stolen 2 BMW’s and 3 4×4’s, how many Chevy’s will he have to steal to make $800? __________

6. Richard is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will he have left when he gets out of prison and how many years will he get for killing the bitch that spent his money? __________

7. If the average spray paint can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint? __________

8. Peter knocked up 6 girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up? __________

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